my ______ is better than your ______.

My superior thingamajig is more intellectually advanced than yours

As I walked down the concrete sidewalk I was confronted by a russet potato who then exclaimed “my thingamajig better than yours!”
I then thought to myself “what thingamajig?” very confusingly stated in my brain.
The potato then yelled “hello!” in a very angry tone of voice.
I then thought to myself what rotten lumpy bumpy horrendously under par mannered russet piece of potato.
So I then stated “my thingamabob is more of the equal to greater value than the mass of the largest planet in the whole entire universe including all the other things in the universe!”
The russet potato had then been the most confused as a swallow then flew by carrying a coconut.
I then said “I bet that you have the brain the size the swallow that just flew by o wait you’re a potato!”
The potato angrily exclaimed “well I bet that you don’t even know the average wing speed of a European swallow”
Then I said “O yah well I know in fact exactly what it is it is 29 miles an hour and a 10 ounce bird could not carry a 1 pound coconut,”
“Yes it could,”
No it could not